Mending bones and bonds
by Madame Gaston 24
Summary: While Lily (O/C) is away on a business trip Otis has a terrible accident causing temporary paralysis, he has never been so vulnerable or scared since he was a child. But can this accident get rid of the tension and walls between Otis and Cutter? Can they repair their father and adoptive son relationship? And will it make Lily and Otis's relationship stronger or drive them apart?
1. Chapter 1

When Lily was told that she would be going on a week business trip she really did not want to go, Otis had been having a lot of nightmares recently of the horrors his parents had subjected him to and she didn't want to leave. She hated being away from him she loved every moment she could have with him. When she first got to know the grumpy, grouchy Firefly she could never have imagined that he would be so affectionate but after years of an abusive and neglected childhood he craved affection.

On the day that she had to leave, Lily procrastinated as long as she could lying next to him in bed, lying on his topless tattooed chest, she sighed happily and snuggled closer. It was amazing when she thought about it how much Otis had opened up to her and grown to trust her over the months, when they first started 'dating' if that's what you would call it, it had been impossible to snuggle up to Otis like this he had been embarrassed to let Lily know about his nightmares and had been scared to let anyone get close to him in case they hurt him again but it has all changed now.  
"Mmmm morning mama" He grumbled sleepily as she nuzzled his neck, wiping his dirty blonde wavy hair out his eyes.  
"Morning Otis" She smiled kissing his neck, making him squirm until yet again the obnoxious alarm started yelling at her.  
"Yes ok I'm going, shut up!" She yelled at the alarm reaching over and turning it off.  
"I got to go baby" Lily said sadly.  
"Oh, gonna miss you mama"  
"I'll miss you do but it'll only be for a week" Lily said getting out of bed, Otis's arms wrapped wrong her and pulled her back in bed "Otis come on I gotta go" Lily giggled swatting his hands to let her go, Otis shrugged his shoulders.  
"Was worth a shot" He mumbled.  
"Awwww my grumpy grouchy man" She laughed leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.  
"Hay mama you're gone a week I need more sugar than that to keep me going" Lily giggled and passionately kissed him, he ran his hands through her hair.  
"I'll see you in a week baby" She said kissing him again before grabbing all her things.  
"Ok mama...Love you" He struggled to say.  
"Love you too Otis, don't go doing anything stupid while I'm gone" it was still hard for him to say them words, being without love for so long the those words meant so much, he didn't just through them around, and if he did admit he loved her he was scared of being hurt again. Lily knew what Otis was like although he was very smart sometimes he lacked basic common sense in his actions which caused him to get into quite a few predicaments, like when he had the motorbike accident and didn't have the common sense to wear protective motorbike gear.

Otis said in bed to sleep for a few more hours after Lily left, before heading out to help Rufus in the garage. They were fixing up one of the cars that Rufus had scavenged from a victim, when they heard the crash of thunder and the sound of heavy rain. Then they realised the garage roof had sprung a leak.  
"Fuck sake Otis all the tools'll rust in this rain we need to fix the roof" Rufus fumed running a hand through his hair.  
"Yeah so? Go up there and fix it" Otis replied.  
"I ain't going up there, my fucking weight'll bring the whole roof down, that's even if the ladder supports my weight"  
"Shouldn't be such a fat ass then should you R.J" Otis chuckled winding up his brother.  
"Get up on that roof you scrawny piece of shit before the whole place gets ruined" Rufus laughed teasing back.  
"Yeah, yeah I'll give you get up that fucking ladder" Otis grumbled under his breath as he went out in the rain to get the ladder.

Otis easily got soaked to the bone in the rain, it poured heavily down from the sky. His grey vest when wet clung to his chest and stomach muscles and his hair hung in waves down to his chest. He leaned the rickety old ladder up against the garage wall before testing it with his foot to make sure it was steady before climbing up it towards the roof. It was an old and unstable ladder but that wasn't the problem, his shoes slid off the step of the ladder, Otis swore loudly as he felt his foot slip and he started to fall backwards, he grappled for the ladder to stop himself from falling but missed.  
"Told you that shit ladder wouldn't hold my weight" Rufus laughed as he heard a loud bag as he walked out the garage to check on his brother, Otis was half of Rufus's weight and if the ladder had collapsed with Otis's weight he felt smug that he was right that the ladder would have supported him. He expected his brother to just bounce back he always bounced back he very rarely got severely hurt it was Otis's look that he survived what normally would kill him.

Rufus stopped dead as he saw his adoptive brother in a crumpled heap on the floor on his back, his head to the side his face covered by his mop of soaking wet hair.  
"Fuck man you alright?" Rufus asked just thinking that he'd just fallen on his back and winded himself but Otis didn't answer. "Fuck Otis you hurt?" He panics running to Otis and finding him unresponsive on the ground. There was something about how Otis was lying on the ground that made him know that something wasn't right. "It's alright man we're gonna get you some help yeah?" Rufus said as he scooped him up in his big strong muscular arms as easy as if Otis were a twig, he wasn't sure if he was talking to Otis to comfort him if his brother could hear him or trying to reassure himself.

Rufus wished his mind would stop as he carried Otis to the house; although they didn't want to, they knew that he had injuries which wouldn't be able to be managed in the firefly household. He knew they would have to take him to hospital. He blamed himself, he should have gone up the ladder he was more robust than Otis, years of being starved and abused had made his bones fragile and although Otis wasn't a weak man the skeleton that built him was. Rufus knew if he'd fallen off the ladder he wouldn't have received any injuries anywhere near as serious as Otis. He felt sick he should have looked after his brother, should have protected him, he should have gone up the ladder not Otis, his gut churned as he thought this was his entire fault.

Rufus drove as though his car was on fire, they laid Otis on the back seat with his head on Mother Firefly's lap she cooed softly stroking his hair trying not to cry as Rufus hurtled down the road, Baby sat in the front with Rufus crying for her adoptive brother terribly worried if her brother would be ok but she also worried for Lily she knew nothing about what was happening while she was away, Baby knew how much he needed Lily by his side and craved her affection when he was sick or injured after so many child hood years without it. Baby knew it was going to be hard for him when he woke up to want his girl and for her not to be there.


	2. Chapter 2

Baby, Mother Firefly and Rufus sat nervously in the waiting room waiting for the nurses and doctors to finish examining him to find out the full extent of his injuries from the fall. Mother Firefly cried hysterically sobbing hard into Rufus's strong muscular broad shoulders. Rufus's face looked glum he ran a hand through his long wavy black hair with frustration, he felt awful he felt like he had caused his brother to get hurt. Rufus was certain that he wouldn't have got as injured if he had gone up the ladder instead of Otis.

Baby sat quietly struggling not to cry, someone in the family had to be strong, she had to be strong for her mother and for Rufus she had a feeling that Rufus blamed himself.  
"Quit thinkin' like that R.J" Baby said scolding but sympathetic as she saw him rub the bristles on his face and sighing. Rufus looked at her eyebrow raised surprised that she knew what was going on in his head. "Don't you go blamin' yourself" Baby said verifying that she knew what he was thinking.  
"I, I should have gone up that ladder" Rufus sighed frustrated with himself he had looked out for number one; he had known that ladder was dangerous and had let Otis go up it.  
"You didn't know he would fall, accidents happen" Baby said softly.  
"That ladders a death trap and you know it! I never should have let him go up it" Rufus growled angry at himself, Baby sighed she had tried to make him feel better but he still blamed himself.  
"He'll be OK Rufus" Baby said comfortingly putting a hand on his knee.  
"How do you know? He could be dead in there for all you know and it's all my fault!" Rufus said raised voiced, causing Mother Firefly to wail louder at his comment.  
"Shhhh you're upsetting momma"  
"WE'RE ALL UPSET!" Rufus shouted frustrated standing up abruptly pacing round the room agitated.

His outburst made both Eve and Baby jump and it was just as the doctor walked in looking very uncomfortable and awkward at interrupting an argument.  
"Mr. Driftwood is stable" The doctor announced.  
"Oh thank God" Eve sobbed with relief, Rufus rolled his eyes with irritability at the noise, her reaction was understandable but the noise was grating against his nerves.  
"Mr. Driftwood sustained some spinal and nerve damage from the fall..." The doctor explained, Eve looked blankly at the doctor with red puffy eyes wondering what meant for her adaptive son.  
"There's a big possibility that he'll wake up paralysed, if that's the case then we can get him into surgery and hopefully repair damage" Eve let out a very loud shrill wail and crumpled into Rufus sobbing loudly like a hysterical woman.  
"We'll give him some pain relief but even though he's suffering from paralysis he might be in a lot of pain and when he comes too he'll probably be very distressed at the lack of movement" Baby and Rufus nodded taking in the information, Rufus rubbing his mothers back trying to comfort her.  
"S...So my baby won't be able to move?" Eve sniffed; the doctor shook his head sadly.  
"Hopefully we will be able to fix this in theatre if the damage isn't too severe" The doctor said trying to sound positive.  
"C...Can we see him?" Baby asked, the doctor nodded and smiled leading them to him.

They walked into Otis's hospital room to be welcomed by a symphony of beeps, noisy machines, leads, pipes and lights. Otis was covered in various monitors and had many IV's inserted into his veins.  
"Oh my poor baby!" Eve shrilled rushing to his side, stroking his dark blonde hair out of his face as he lay unconscious in the hospital bed.  
"He'll be OK momma Otis is a fighter" Baby said comfortingly, it was true Otis had fought to survive his whole life, he would never have survived his parents let alone anything else unless he had been a fighter so she knew he wouldn't give up without a fight.  
"Come on Otis you can fight this" Eve cooed stroking his head, a minute later Otis groaned in pain as his eyes fluttered open.

Baby jumped up and down excitedly and tugged Rufus's shirt like a little child that was allowed sweets.  
"He's awake, he's awake look momma he's awake" He giggled excitedly that thankfully he had managed to regain consciousness.  
"M...momma...Baby...R.J?" Otis groaned with confusion wondering why they were at his bedside looking down at him and why Eve was red and puffy from crying.  
"It's alright baby you just fell off the ladder is all" Mother Firefly said trying to prevent Otis from panicking. Otis tried to move but shouted and swore loudly in pain, suddenly the realisation can to him that he couldn't move and apart from the shooting pain he felt when he tried to move he couldn't feel anything.  
"What the fuck! Momma I can't move, fuck momma why can't I move, Momma what the fucks going on?" Otis panicked sweat appearing on his face because of fear.  
"You, you hurt your back in the fall, doctor says you'll be having surgery to reverse the damage" Mother Firefly explained, Otis looked back at her wide eyed and terrified at the news.  
"Fuck you mean, you mean I'm stuck like this till the surgery?" Otis said frightened, Eve nodded sadly. "W... What if the surgery's not a success?" Otis was afraid to ask, the whole families expressions looked grim at the question.  
"If not... then... then this may be permanent" Baby said trying not to cry for her brother.

Otis was speechless he didn't know what to say, it was too much to take in. He really could be paralysed like this for the rest of his life?  
"The doctor seems positive though" Eve said trying to be positive.  
"I...I'm sorry man I should have gone up the ladder" Rufus finally said sadly, being silent all that time, the guilt still buzzed in his brain like a swarm of bees.  
"You didn't know this would happen I'm just glad it was me and not you Rufus" Otis said trying to comfort his brother but honestly meaning what he said. A lump appeared in Rufus's throat at Otis being glad that it wasn't him that had got hurt.  
"I promise you Otis when you recover I'll let you push me off the same damn ladder" Rufus said chucking trying to dislodge the lump in his throat.  
"I might take you up on that Rufus" Otis said jokingly smiling.

Suddenly he realised, there was only members of his family there, there was someone missing.  
"W...Where's Lily?" Otis asked frowning.  
"She left remember" Baby said softly.  
"WHAT! Where, where'd she go? I need my girl" Otis ranted "Oh my god she's gone hasn't she, she knew I was going to be a fucking cripple and left me" Otis sobbed he had tried so hard to look brave in front of his family until that moment. "I...I need to go find her, I need to get her back"  
"Otis you can't go anywhere like that, she's just on a business trip she'll be back soon you see" Baby comforted.  
"Baby I NEED my girl!" Otis growled his cheeks turning red, she was always there when he was sick or injured he needed her there with him.  
"I know you do baby but she's not here she'll be back soon I promise" Eve soothed stroking Otis's IV covered hand, Otis sighed irritably he was scared, more than scared he wanted Lily she always made him feel better, he needed her smiling face telling him it would be Ok.


	3. Chapter 3

Otis lay wide eyed and frightened in the hospital bed staring up at the boring white tiled ceiling. Baby, R.J and Mother Firefly had finally gone home for something to eat and some sleep, they were both exhausted. He was terrified being alone in this hospital in the condition that he was in so many strangers walking about while he was powerless but he knew his family members needed to take care of themselves too. He wished that Lily was here she always brought comfort to him, he wanted to be held close to her and for her to tell him everything would be OK. He was counting the hours to when she would be back.

He was in so much pain, throbbing excruciating pain Otis was surprised at the amount of pain that he was in considering he couldn't move, a shooting pain like an electric bold shot up his spine. He couldn't settle the pain made it impossible to sleep; instead he just whimpered and groaned in pain staring at the ceiling wishing that Lily was there with him.

A passing nurse noticed how much pain he was in as she made her rounds and prepared a needle of morphine to inject in to his IV. His heart beet faster as he saw the nurse preparing the drugs, he hated drugs especially ones that seduced him. He knew from experience what they did to him and he hated it.  
"Do I have to have that fucking stuff?" Otis groaned he hated the powerless and vulnerable feeling he got with painkillers but he hated even more the pain that he was in, he couldn't stand the pain much more he needed something to take the edge off no matter what the alternative was.  
"It'll help you sleep, you sound in a lot of pain" She said kindly, Otis sighed she was right he was in a lot of pain; he was struggling more than he was letting on. He nodded at the nurse to tell her to go ahead.

Rufus couldn't settle at home either; he hated the thought of his brother being alone in that hospital. Mother Firefly and Baby had finally gotten to sleep but his brain wouldn't let him. They had been though a lot together him and Otis, they were very close not just brothers but best friends and not only did his guilt stop him from sleeping but also the thought of Otis being alone maybe even scared in his bed. What if he needed something and there were no free nurses? He decided to go and check on his brother.

Otis was asleep when Rufus arrived slowly he closed the hospital room door after him. He sat down on the chair beside the bed listening to Otis's relaxed breathing and the repetitive beeps of all the monitors and machines. His eyes moved from the beeping machines alone the pipes his brother who was littered with IVs and monitors. He sighed sadly and ran a hand through his hair it was nice to technically be alone where he could deal with the tragedy his way without people seeing his reactions. He felt like there was a huge weight on his shoulders constantly having to keep up the pretence of being strong in front of his family. His breathing turned ragged as the sobs escaped, tears ran down his face he put his face in his hands and cried as he could finally let his emotions out away from prying eyes. .  
"I'm sorry Otis it's all my fault" He whispered wiping away the tears.

A sudden whimpering made Rufus jump in the empty silence of the hospital room.  
"Hnnnn" Otis groaned.  
"Otis you Ok man?" Rufus asked turning to him thinking that he'd just woken up in pain but saw that he was still asleep.  
"Nnnnn" He mumbled his face contorted with fear, Rufus frowned not quite sure what was happening.  
"N...no..nooo" He whimpered in his sleep he truly sounded terrified.  
"Otis, Otis man wake up" Shaking his arm gently not even sure if that would accomplish anything.  
"Nnnn no dad stop!" Otis moaned, Rufus sat wide eyed did he just sit there and let him ride it out or did he try and wake Otis up? He knew Otis would be embarrassed as hell to know that Rufus was witnessing him having a nightmare. He had hidden the emotional scars he had from his childhood from the family for so long, they had known he was abused but not to what extent and for a long time hadn't known that he was suffering with nightmares from it he had kept that hidden from them for embarrassment.

 _A young Otis stared up at his father he knew from the look in his dad's eyes what was coming. He tried to move but he couldn't he was fixed to the spot, he wanted to run, wanted to make an attempt to escape but his limbs wouldn't budge. He let out a terrified squeak as his father flipped him over he flopped on his stomach down on the bed like a dead fish, he couldn't move couldn't do anything but lay there, his father gave a laugh.  
"No trying to run away huh? I knew you enjoyed me fucking you" He tormented. What was happening why couldn't he move? Why couldn't he run away? All he could do was lay there and take it. _

_Tears ran down his face, he didn't want this, he didn't want any of this but he could do nothing to prevent it.  
"Hnnn please daddy don't" He whimpered, his tears falling onto the sheets.  
"Well you're not moving so you obviously want it" His father laughed.  
"I, I CAN'T!" He shouted before letting out a pained scream as his father thrust into him. Otis whimpered and screamed in agonising pain completely unable to move totally paralysed having to endure the pain of what his father was doing to him. Despite his paralysed state he could feel the pain, God he could feel the pain like red hot irons._

Rufus sat on the verge of tears listening to Otis suffering through the nightmare; this was all his fault everything Otis was going through was his fault. What was Lily going to say? She'll despise him and blame him he knew that much.  
"Otis! Otis wake up" He called loudly "Come on man" Tapping his face to try and wake him, the terrified noise Otis made was one Rufus had never heard before never heard a noise sounding so scared.  
"Hnn, no don't hurt me!"  
"It's just me Otis just you bro wake up"  
"I...It hurts...S...stop it hurts" Tears fell down Rufus's face he couldn't hear anymore, couldn't listen anymore to what his brother had suffered.

Quickly he wiped away his tears and took Otis gently by the shoulders and shook him, the last thing he was going to do was let Otis see that he'd been crying.  
"Otis wake the FUCK up!" Rufus shouted, Otis gave a loud gasp and his eyes shot open.  
"R...Rufus?" Otis whispered his cheeks going red as she realised he'd been having a nightmare while Rufus was in the room.  
"Otis, you alright?" Rufus asked frowning with concern.  
"Yeah ain't nothin' but nothin'" Trying to down play it and make himself sound stronger and manlier than he felt.  
"Sounds like that were tough" Rufus said.  
"S'alright used to it" Rufus sat back down on the chair next to him.  
"Sorry man I shouldn't have stuck around when I saw you were asleep" Rufus felt bad he knew that Otis felt embarrassed at looking so vulnerable in front of his brother.  
"S'alright Rufus glad you were here" Otis said smiling, Rufus had never been so glad to see that chubby cheeked dimpled smile.  
"Want to talk about it?" Rufus offered.  
"I..." Otis stuttered he felt uncomfortable talking about his nightmares with anyone; it had taken him ages to feel able to tell Lily about his nightmares.  
"Otis you're my brother you can talk to me about anything" Rufus said smiling, his smile brought Otis comfort before sighing and opening up about his nightmare.  
"I...it was my father he... he was..." He never could day the word but Rufus knew what Otis was getting at "But...I...I was like I am now, I couldn't fucking move I tried to move to resist or get away or SOMETHING! But I couldn't move, he said I liked it because I didn't do nothing but I couldn't, I just had to lie there and fucking take it" Otis growled clearly distressed by his nightmare.  
"It's alright man your safe your dads gone"  
"I...I hate being like this Rufus" Otis sighed tears stung his eyes but he forced them back, he wasn't going to let himself cry in front of Rufus.  
"I know Otis, but it won't be for long just until the surgery" Rufus comforted.  
"I could be like this forever...I don't WANT to be like THIS" Otis growled.  
"It's OK Otis you'll get the surgery and you'll get better you see"  
"I hope you're right Rufus" There was a short silence "I...I wish Lily was here" He said his voice breaking from the lump in his throat.  
"Me too man me too" Rufus sighed running a hand through his hair. "But she'll be back soon" Otis hoped he was right, he really hoped that he was right he didn't know how much more of this he could cope with without her.


	4. Chapter 4

Little did Otis know that the situation was about to get an awful lot scarier, he had never thought it was possible to be anymore scared than he was now and very few things that he could think of seemed scarier than being paralysed and helpless, unable to move. He held on to the fact that it would only be a few days until Lily returned he would feel much better once she was by his side. It was nice to have his family by his side. Rufus, Eve and Baby were a huge help but they couldn't provide the comfort that Lily could. But until she arrived he was about to learn what true fear actually was.

Otis hated people that much were obvious from the way he killed them, but deep down he too was scared of people, scared of them touching him, scared of them hurting him it was a fear drilled in to him from his childhood and one he could not shake. It had taken months for Lily to be able to touch him without him shaking or flinching afraid that she was going to hurt him. As much of a dangerous tough killer he was his worst fear was to be as helpless and vulnerable to abuse as he had been when he was younger and been in that hospital was all too close to his fear. He was paralysed and if someone wanted to hurt or abuse him they could and he could do nothing about it.

One morning he lay there surrounded by his family they were a huge comfort all his life he had dreamt of having a loving family that would love and care for him and now he had one. The family bliss though was soon disrupted by a male nurse entering his room. Otis eyed him nervously and suspiciously he hated medical staff, all through his life he had learnt that medical staff meant pain, even though it was for his own benefit and to make him better there was usually pain before he got better.  
"Oh no what's happened, what are you going to do?" Mother Firefly panicked.  
"I've just come to clean him up a little that's all, he's been here for a few days now without a wash" Otis hated the way that most medical staff discussed and talked about him as though he wasn't there.  
"But... but he can't no one will be able to get him there" Baby said bluntly.  
"Don't worry we have we had a bed bath procedure for our... _less able_ patients"

Otis's heart quickened bed bath? Someone was going to give him a bath...in bed? It wasn't going to be him would it? The thought of a man seeing him naked and washing him horrified him, he would feel so embarrassed. The thought of a man doing it scared him, if his family wasn't there he was paralysed and helpless unable to defend himself the man could do anything to him while he was naked. This nurse could take full advantage of Otis's vulnerable state and there was nothing he could do about it, the thought of being powerless to the mercy of the nurse and the thought of being helpless to the nurse's assault terrified him.

He looked up at mother Firefly and his brother and sister almost begging them with his eyes not to agree to what the nurse was suggesting.  
"Mom no! Fuck that no" Otis snarled.  
"It'll greatly reduce the chances of bedsores, if he gets those they could get infected then his whole health will deteriorate" The male nurse said.  
"Otis let him, it's for your own good we'll be right on the other side of the curtain" Baby persuaded knowing his fear of people touching him.  
"Baby no!" Otis said sternly "He is coming nowhere near me" His forehead wrinkling as he frowned.  
"Otis baby please it's for your own good" Mother Firefly begged, he looked up at his mother almost crying with worry. He sighed she had done so much for him over the years, fed him clothed him given him a place to live and loved him like her own, how could he deny her this? If it would make her feel better he would do it for her and only for her. If it was just him alone with no family he would refuse and take the risk but he would agree to it for her, he would get better for her to try and make up for everything she had done for him if that's what would make her happy.

Rufus, Baby and Mother Firefly took a few steps back while the nurse closed the curtains around the bed. Otis's heart pounded as the male nurse slowly unbuttoned the buttons of his blue and white stripy hospital pyjamas. His breathing went fast as he tried not to panic.  
"It's alright I'm not going to hurt you" The nurse soothed sensing his tension and fear. He didn't like this he didn't want this man undressing him he didn't want this man touching him. Otis screwed his eyes shut and breathed hard and fast trying to ignore him or imagining it was Lily undressing him.

Otis whimpered in fear as he felt the man wipe the wash cloth other his topless tattooed chest.  
"Fuck...I...I mom make him stop" Otis panicked as the cloth got close to his trouser line.  
"It's alright Otis we're right here no one's going to harm you" Mother Firefly soothed knowing how much he feared physical contact.  
"It's alright Mr. Driftwood I'm not going to hurt you" The male nurse said wiping the cloth down his tanned muscular arms.

It reminded him of his father, being powerless while someone undresses you the humiliation of someone taking your clothes off and the embarrassment of them seeing you having to lie there naked.  
"Hnnnn Baby please make him stop" Otis begged.  
"Shh it's ok I'm not going to hurt you I just want to get you clean" The male nurse explained. Otis was on the verge of hyperventilating as he saw the nurse grab his pyjama pant line and slowly pull them down.

Flashbacks filled his mind; this was just like his childhood it reminded him of his father pulling down his trousers before assaulting him.  
"Mom, mom I don't like this get him to leave!" Otis panicked. Shame and embarrassment washed over him as he saw he was now on full show in front of the male nurse. "Pl, please stop" Otis sobbed his breath caught in his throat as he thought the nurse was going to touch his intermit areas but simply wiped the cloth over his thighs and legs.  
"It's alright calm down I'm not going to hurt you" The nurse said soothingly trying to calm him.

Mother Firefly and Baby exchanged worried looks to each other as they heard a startled and scared yelp from behind the curtain.  
"Please, please stop I... Baby I want Lily where is she? Please make him stop I want my girl" They heard him sob.  
"She'll be back soon Otis try and stay calm it'll be ok" Baby replied.

Otis never thought he could feel anymore shame and embarrassment until the male nurse popped his head out of the curtain and called on Rufus for help to turn Otis over, understaffed and low funding for the hospital meant that the staff was stretched thinly. Rufus refused and it took a lot of persuading he knew that Otis would feel humiliating having to have his brother help he was embarrassed enough having the male nurse see him naked let alone his brother too.  
"Please Rufus help your brother" Mother Firefly begged Rufus sighed and clenched his jaw before nodding his head in agreement.

Baby and Eve tried not to cry as they heard the begging and sobs that came from behind the curtain. Rufus scrunched his eyes clothed and bit his bottom lip as he knew the embarrassment Otis must be feeling as helped the nurse turn him, they didn't want to move him too much to prevent further back injury so Rufus held Otis's body in place as the nurse washed the back of him.  
"Hnnnnnnnn" Otis whimpered feeling the cloth go too far down for comfort.  
"Shh it's alright man I'm right here I wouldn't let anyone hurt you, you know that" Rufus comforted. "RJ please, please make it stop" He whispered into Rufus's chest as he held him close, Rufus could feel Otis shaking in fear as he held him.

The nurse laid him back down; Otis avoided eye contact with Rufus he was so embarrassed and ashamed he couldn't bring himself to look at him. His cheeks were red and flushed from embarrassment and from him panicking.  
"I'm sorry you had to go through that man but it was for your own good" Rufus sighed before walking out and going home, he figured Otis would feel more comfortable if he made himself scarce for a while, Eve followed.

Otis stared up at the ceiling for a while trying to calm himself down after the nurse had dressed him and left. His hair was like a birds nest all knotted and messy; he wanted to cry he hadn't experienced that much fear, shame and humiliation for a long, long while. He wanted Lily he wished she would hurry up and be by his side, he was so scared without her his family were helping the best he could but he needed his baby girl.  
"Otis you ok?" Baby asked pulling pack the curtains and sitting beside him, Otis grunted in reply. "I know that must have been really scary for you but it was for your own good"  
"Yeah so Rufus said" Otis growled.  
"Don't be mad at him he was just trying to help"  
"Mmm" Otis grumbled.  
"You don't need to feel embarrassed Otis we're family we look after each other... Your hair, it's... awfully knotty how bout I brush it for you?" Baby kindly suggested.  
"If you want, I ain't gonna stop you" Baby flinched at the comment that could be taken two ways.

Baby sat closer to Otis and carefully started to brush the knots out of his hair, he closed his eyes and sighed enjoying the feeling of his hair being brushed.  
"You always did like your hair being brushed" Baby giggled "I remember when Daddy first brought you home the only way we could calm you down and make you relax was me brushing your hair" Baby smiled as she remembered. "You were very brave today Otis you may not think you were but you were" She praised. He began to feel a lot better his stress and panic was beginning to melt away but he still wished Lily would come back. He needed her here with him.


	5. Chapter 5

The male nurse felt awful about what had happened with Otis, he was completely unaware that Otis would behave the way that he did and he was clueless of the reason why.  
"I...I wonder if I could talk to you for a moment?" The male nurse said to Mother Firefly walking out of the room with her once he saw that Otis was in a deep sleep, the ordeal must have really tired him out.  
"I, I was thinking about Mr. Driftwood I've never come across someone react that way to a bed bath or physical contact before I was puzzled as to why" He asked.  
"Otis, he... he can be a little skittish took us all a long while before we could touch him without bolting like a scared little rabbit" Mother Firefly explained.  
"Why is that?"  
"We, we adopted him when he was young poor thing no family no home skin and bones he was he'd been physically and sexually abused for a long time so he flinches round people... keeps expecting everyone to hurt him" Eve said sadly remembering the stick thin near death figure that Otis used to be. The male nurse looked sympathetic after hearing why Otis had reacted that way it broke the nurses' heart he had tried his best to calm Otis down but he felt so bad now that he knew Otis had been truly terrified of him touching him.  
"I...I'm sorry to hear that, my... my partner suffered the same thing" The nurse said sadly.  
"Thank you, and thank you for what you've done for my baby we appreciate it" Mother Firefly said, the nurse smiled.  
"I'm sorry I scared him so much but at least that's done now for a while"  
"Yes it was for his own good no matter how scared he was" Mother Firefly agreed.  
"Is... it's there anything I can do to make him more comfortable"  
"I don't know sweetie" Mother Firefly said unsure.  
"His beard looks like a birds nest" Baby commented.  
"Angel that's not nice" Eve scolded.  
"Could, could I have a word with Otis alone?" The nurse asked, Baby and Eve agreed.

The nurse walked into the hospital room alone, he could see how edgy Otis looked when he saw that he was alone in this room with the nurse.  
"Your beards getting a bit out of control Mr. Driftwood how about I trim it for you?" He suggested, the nurse went to touch Otis's face but Otis whimpered and flinched his face out of his way.  
"Shhh, shhh its ok I'm not going to hurt you how bout we have a chat for a minute?" The nurse said sitting down next to him.  
"Your mom said why you're so scared" The nurse said "And I understand...my, my partner suffered the same thing I get your fear it must be a horrible thing to go through but I want you to understand that I would never hurt you especially not like that" The nurse said soothingly.  
"I...I'm sorry about your partner" Otis mumbled.  
"Thank you, and I'm sorry for scaring you but you know it's my job to get you better and it was for your own good"  
"Yeah I guess" Otis agreed.  
"I want to scare you as less as possible Mr. Driftwood, I don't ever want you to be scared of me hurting you, I'm going to give you stronger painkillers it will hopefully make you more comfortable" The nurse explained.  
"Thank you" Otis mumbled, appreciative of everything the nurse was doing for him, he seemed nice enough he couldn't understand why he was so scared of him, he genuinely seemed like he wanted to make him better but his brain and body reacted differently.

Rufus returned to the hospital to check on Otis, he felt awful so having to force Otis into such a horrible situation but it was for his own good if he got bedsores and they got infected his health would get much worse.  
"Hay man how u feeling?" Rufus asked slowly closing the door behind him. He saw Otis's cheeks instantly turn red with embarrassment and avoided eye contact with Rufus,  
"Get out of here RJ" Otis said he really didn't want to see him, Rufus sighed and sat down.  
"Look man you can throw a strop with me all you like but I don't regret doing that if it was to stop you getting worse" Rufus explained "You're my brother and I will do whatever it takes, even seeing your scrawny naked ass if it means you get better" Otis frowned at Rufus. "Frown at me all you like its true I know it was embarrassing but don't take it out on the people that are just trying to help you"  
"I was SCARED Rufus, You used to be cool RJ when did you get so grownup" Otis scoffed.  
"I know you was scared but don't take that out on me, I'm sorry we scared you but I'm not sorry we did it" Rufus said sternly voice raised he wasn't going to apologise for something that was for Otis's benefit and for something he didn't regret "It's nice to know that it's uncool for me to look after my brother, if I was grownup I wouldn't have told you to get up that ladder" Rufus sighed running a hand through his long hair, he really regretted that night.  
"It's not your fault Rufus" Otis mumbled, too stubborn to let Rufus off that easily but really wanted to make his brother feel better.  
"I shouldn't have made you go up that ladder I'm sorry man" Rufus sighed.  
"Its OK bud I don't blame you" Otis comforted.

There was a long awkward silence for a moment you could cut the atmosphere in the hospital room with a knife.  
"I...I saw all your scars on your back Otis, I'm sorry they did that to you" Rufus said sadly finally breaking the silence.  
"Ain't nothin' but nothin'"  
"But it is Otis Lily could play dot to dot with the scars on your back" Rufus said trying to lighten up the mood.  
"Fuck you" Otis chuckled.  
"Come on man you look like you've been used as a dart board" Rufus laughed.  
"The garage roof still needs fixing you know RJ this time it's your turn" Otis laughed smiling.  
"Don't be daft my bodies too gorgeous to risk breaking it" Rufus chuckled, Otis laughed too. Rufus was so happy to see his brother smile again it had been too long since he had seen that chipped tooth dimpled smile.

"Lily will be back soon" Rufus mentioned.  
"Do, do you think she'll stay? I mean do you think she'll still love me and stick around once she sees me?" Otis asked worried.  
"Sure she will she loves the ground you walk on Otis"  
"I, I could be a cripple for life Rufus you reckon she'll stick around for that?" Otis said irritably, he seriously doubted she would and he wouldn't blame her either.  
"She loves you Otis I don't think she'd ever leave you" Rufus comforted and Otis began to believe him. "Unless she finds out that you scream like a girl" Rufus laughed trying to get off the serious topic.  
"Yeah you know who else screamed, Baby when I fucked her a few times" Otis grinned back.  
"Fuck you Otis, you're lucky your backs already broke so I can't break it myself" Rufus laughed standing up about to leave.  
"Rufus wait..." Otis called he stopped and turned round to look at Otis "Thanks man you've made me feel a hell of a lot better"  
"Any time man" Rufus smiled leaving and closing the hospital door behind him.

Once Rufus left Otis thought for a long time about Lily, would she really still love him and stick around through everything once she came back? He wouldn't blame her if she didn't he could potentially be paralysed for life he didn't want to live like that so he didn't expect her to commit her life to someone forever like that. Would she walk in take one look and him and turn right back around and leave? It would break his heart if she did but all he wanted was for her to be happy.

Otis watched the door slowly open.  
"What's up man back for some more, want to all the details of how I fucked your sister" Otis laughed thinking that it was Rufus, but when he saw who walked through the door he wished that the ground would just open him up and swallow him whole.


	6. Chapter 6

Fuck it was Cutter, his heart pounded through his chest, he couldn't believe what he had just shouted in front of Baby's father, he was sure Cutter would pulverise him into a pulp in this hospital bed. Otis was always nervous around Cutter, yes he had taken Otis in when he was sick and homeless but they also had a very strained relationship. While in Cutters care he had done the unthinkable, Otis had seen Cutter as a father figure he had given Otis a job, fed him and clothed him. But one night while getting drunk, eating pizza and watching the football Cutter had done the unthinkable and broken Otis's trust in him forever. It had been a while since Cutter had had some pussy he was drunk and he was horny, he looked over at the paralytic Otis and decided he would make do he wasn't into men but with the long hair he could just imagine that he was a woman as long as he kept his face pressed down. Otis was drunk Cutter never thought for a minute that Otis would remember in the morning but he had. And since then Otis had been wary and cautious around Cutter terrified that he would decided to do it again.

They argued a lot and had lots of testosterone bouts of who should be head of the household but Otis easily backed down afraid of what Cutter would do to him if he got him really mad.  
"What's that happy boy?" Cutter asked daring him to repeat what he had said.  
"I...Cutter...I" Otis stuttered.  
"I took you in boy, I gave you a place to live and how do you repay me? You not only fuck my baby girl but you brag about it too" Cutter growled, Otis's heart monitor increased his heart beating faster.  
"Yeah I did so what she's grown up?" Otis growled back trying to disguise his increased heart rate he would never let Cutter know that he was scared of him. Cutter chuckled as he heard the increasing heart rate.  
"I hope you're not still sleeping with her, not when you've got Lily" Cutter warned.  
"Of course not you fucker I'd never do that to her" Otis snarled but his heart monitor continued to give away his fear.  
"Good 'cus if you did...Still scared of me from that are you?" Cutter chuckled as he saw the wide nervous look on Otis's face.  
"Old man I ain't scared of nothin'" Otis growled back.  
"Yeah? Your heart monitors saying something different asshole"  
"Fuck you" Otis spat trying to hide the fear he was feeling, the thought of being helpless in Cutters presence terrified him, what if Cutter decided to do to him what he did before? He would be able to do nothing about it.  
"Did I scare you that night huh?" Cutter taunted "Did I make you bleed? I remember you screamed like a little bitch, I could do it again you know and you wouldn't be able to do nothin' about it" Cutter grinned, he loved winding Otis up.

Otis's heart monitor began to go insane Cutter didn't even know a heart could beat that fast, Otis began to hyperventilate in his hospital bed.  
"Jesus kid calm down I was just messing with ya" He knew Otis was nervous around him but he didn't realise that Otis was that scared of him.  
"Fuck...you" Otis managed to gasp in between fish out of water type breaths.  
"Otis calm down I'm not going to hurt you I was just joking around trying to get you riled"  
"Yeah...well...you got me...fucking riled" Cutter sighed and sat down next to Otis.  
"Otis look...I really regret that night I do, I'm sorry I did that to you I wouldn't do that to you again"  
"Fuck you Cutter you ain't never sorry about shit" Otis spat, Cutter sighed and ran a hand over his bold head.  
"I am sorry and I do regret hurting you, especially like that after all you've been though"  
"Hmm" Otis huffed.  
"I just came to check on you, see how you was I was worried about you" Cutter said.  
"Ha yeah sure you worried about me don't make me laugh"  
"I was, Otis I took you in as my own, you're like a son to me and I want to do everything I can to make you less scared of me, that night was a mistake"  
"Too right it was a mistake, you fucking RAPED me Cutter just because you wanted something warm to sleep with and I was the only thing you had" Otis growled "Get out of here Cutter!"  
"Alright Otis I'm going just think about what I said yeah?" Otis grunted in reply as Cutter stood up and left the hospital room.

Otis's emotions were all over the place when Cutter left, he took long slow breaths to try and calm his pounding heart. He was so embarrassed that his heart monitor had given away his fear, he had tried desperately to use his bravado to cover up his fear of Cutter but the machine had given him away, he felt so embarrassed that Cutter had seen him like that. But at the same time he was so confused about him, he was a joker he loved winding Otis up and he knew just how to do it that was nothing new. But Cutter said he had been worried about him? Was that true did Cutter actually care about him after what he had done? And was Cutter genuinely sorry for what he had done? Did he regret after all? He certainly seemed like he was.

Otis wanted to forgive him, he desperately wanted the loving father figure that he had had a glimpse of when first taken in by Cutter it was something he had dreamt and wished for all his childhood years, having a loving father to teach him things and hang out with watch football drink beer or go fishing. But what if he did forgive him and Cutter did the same thing to him again? But he certainly seemed regretful about hurting him all those years ago. Otis's mind was whirling with different thoughts and feelings; he would have to think long and hard about where he stood with Cutter and what to do about him.

Lily sat excitedly on the plan she couldn't wait to see her Otis, it had been a long week and she had missed him like crazy but now she was on her way back to him and she couldn't be more excited. She wondered what he had been doing while she was away; Otis never handled her going away very well he usually either got drunk or worried himself into a mess over thinking things and thinking she would meet someone while she was away and never come back to him. But that would never happen she would never leave her Otis. She hoped that this time when she came back he would have handled her time away from him well and that she would be able to be really proud of him with the difference, but most of all she worried that he hadn't done anything stupid. Otis was very book smart and street smart too but sometimes Otis lacked general common sense which caused him to have his fair share of accidents, Rufus was just as bad they encouraged each other in their immature pursuits and childish acting up, without an adult voice of common sense there they did childish testosterone matches that usually ended up in disaster and that was what she was most worried about while she had been away.

Lily swung open the front door to the Firefly house hold and dumped her cases on the floor by the wall; she would deal with them later.  
"Otis I'm back!" She called, her voice was met with silence she walked to the foot of the stairs and shouted up but no one answered. Lily frowned with confusion; this was odd the Firefly household was never empty. Slowly she walked down into the basement which was Tiny's bedroom; she rushed to him and looked up at him.  
"Tiny where is everyone, have you seen Otis?" She asked quickly worried as to what had gone on.  
"Hospital" Was all Tiny said, he was shy around ladies and was a man of few words.  
"Hospital? Oh god Otis" She panicked "Thanks Tiny" She called behind her as she ran back out of the house and made a mad dash to the hospital.


	7. Chapter 7

Lily ran as fast as she could into the hospital, she was exhausted after her long flight and her feet where killing her but she needed to see her Otis, she needed to see how hurt he was.  
"Lily you're back" Baby squealed excitedly.  
"Oh honey it's so good to see you" Mother Firefly said, she almost sounded relieved.  
"What's going on, what happened?" Lily gasped out of breath.  
"Otis went up onto the garage roof to fix it and the ladder broke" Baby explained.  
"Oh god!" Lily gasped heading to the hospital room door.  
"Honey wait, before you go in its best you know now" Mother Firefly called after her; Lily stopped and turned round to look at her. "Otis suffered some back damage from the fall, he's having an op to hopefully repair the damage but until then he's paralysed and could be for life if the op doesn't work" Mother Firefly said heartbroken.  
"W...What" Lily stuttered at the horrible news, Otis paralysed she couldn't believe it.  
"It's true Lily" Baby said, Lily crumbled she burst into tears and Mother Firefly held her close.

Lily cried for what seemed like hours, she needed to get all her sadness out and be strong for her Otis. She hoped with all her heart that the operation would be successful. But she doubted for a minute that she wouldn't stay with him and leave.  
"I...I better go see him" She snivelled once she had finished crying.  
"He's missed you so much, been asking for you this whole time"  
"I've missed him too, I can't believe this has happened" Lily pulled herself together before going in to see him; he couldn't see her cry she needed to be strong.

Slowly Lily opened the door and peeked her head in to see if he was asleep, he looked like he was dozing so she slowly closed the door after her.  
"Otis I'm back baby" Lily whispered.  
"Lily!" He gasped his eyes flew open and he went to move, realised he couldn't and cried out in pain.  
"Mother Fucker that hurt" Otis groaned, Lily rushed to his side.  
"Oh baby" She said stroking his hair "I'm so sorry I left I should have been here" Lily croaked trying not to cry.  
"It's alright mama not your fault"  
"How you feeling, you in a lot of pain?" Lily asked worried.  
"Only when I try and move...I missed you mama"  
"I missed you too baby" Lily said leaning over to give him on the lips.  
"Mmmm I've missed that sugar" Otis moaned in appreciation.  
"Yeah? Well you're never gonna be without it again" She said smiling.  
"I wish I could hold you mama" Otis said sadly and then Lily came up with a brainwave.

Lily lay next to him and moved his arms so they held her close, his arms wrapped around her body.  
"Mmm back in your arms where I belong" Lily sighed happily.  
"You...you know I could be like this forever right?" Otis said bluntly, Lily nodded sadly. "If you wanna turn right back around and walk out that door I'd understand" Otis mumbled.  
"Whhaatt, Otis no I'm not leaving you" Lily said outraged "I'd never leave my Otis we're together through everything" She said hugging him tighter. "I missed my Otis so much" She sighed. "It's going to be ok Otis, everything's going to be fine" She soothed, Otis instantly felt better; his girl was in bed next to him he began to feel less scared and more comfortable. His baby was finally here.

Otis was so glad that Lily was back he felt less scared and more comfortable with her around but he also felt more self conscious. It had been ages since he had been able to trim his beard; he knew he must look like garbage with all the wires in him and up to his eyeballs in painkillers and in his hospital robes. And Otis was pretty damn sure that the catheter he had due to his lack of movement was probably the grossest and least attractive thing Lily could see him with. After all a tube in his urethra and attached to a see-through bag was the least sexy thing he could think of and something he was very self conscious and humiliated for Lily to see.

Whenever Lily was around she could see Otis eying the bag up nervously and tried to distract Lily from noticing it. She felt sorry for him and pitied him that he felt so embarrassed about his situation around her, his checks flushed red every time her eyes passed it.  
"Shh relax baby its ok" She said stroking his hair softly.  
"You shouldn't be seeing me like this mama, it's fucking embarrassing" Otis grunted.  
"Otis when I accepted your proposal, it's through sickness and in health you don't need to be embarrassed around me you can't help it" She comforted.  
"Hmph, I can't even go for a piss by myself and you want to hang around and stay with me" Otis fumed, she could tell he was getting irritated by it all.  
"Of course I'm staying with you I love you, you silly man" She said kissing him on the cheek.  
"I'm fed up of this shit mama I don't like being like this" Otis growled angrily.  
"Shhh I know baby but your ops soon and everything will be fine" Lily comforted.  
"And what if it isn't!" Otis growled.  
"Well we'll cross that bridge IF we get to it, either way I'll always be side you" She said taking his hand into hers.

Lily happened to mention to Mother Firefly that Otis was embarrassed of his catheter, he hated looking sick and vulnerable in front of everyone and it embarrassed him so much that all his family could see what was coming out of him. Mother Firefly hadn't expected such a lovely reaction when she had brought to the hospital a hand knitted cover that she had made for the bag that fitted over it and zipped up so the nurses could still undo it and check if there was anything to be worried about. Lily and Mother Firefly instantly saw the relief come to his face and the humiliation melt away.  
"That was nice of her wasn't it?" Lily said to Otis.  
"Yeah... yeah it was" He said giving a small smile, he instantly felt better.  
"I didn't mind you know you didn't need to be embarrassed"  
"Yeah? Well there's some things your girl shouldn't see" He was a proud man and he didn't want to look weak and helpless in front of his girl, somehow his logic reasoned that the bag cover was better.

Otis and Lily were just sat in silence holding hands when the male nurse came in; he had come to tell them that his operation would be for the following day.  
"Your beards getting a bit out of control you'll need it trimmed before the op" The nurse commented, Otis grunted in reply.  
"Would you like me to do it for you?" The nurse offered reaching out to touch Otis's beard, Otis whimpered and moved his head away.  
"He's not going to hurt you Otis, sorry he's very nervous with people touching him" Lily apologised.  
"So I've been told, It's alright Otis you know I'm not going to hurt you" The male nurse said.  
"It's ok Otis I'm right here" Lily soothed as the nurse got closer to Otis with the scissors, Otis's heart began to get quicker.  
"Fuck, shit mama" He panicked.  
"Shhhhh its ok he's just going to trim your beard that's all" Lily said trying to calm him down.

The first snip of the scissors caused Otis to yelp in fear and his heart pounded causing the heart monitor to go insane.  
"Shhhh easy baby" She soothed stroking his hair.  
"Fuck mama, mama" He swore with the snip of the scissors.  
"Do you want me to do it Otis?" She offered.  
"No I don't want you talking care of me mama I'm your man not some damn patient"  
"Otis your scared, I've done your beard before, I'll do it for you if it calms you down" Otis sighed irritably, he was too proud to admit that he needed Lily to do something for him but the nurse doing his beard was terrifying him.  
"Alright mama, just shave it mama just shave it off I'm not dealing with you trimming it all the time"  
"But... but you love your beard" Lily said sadly.  
"Just shave it!"  
"I'm not shaving it Otis you love having your beard" Slowly she started trimming his beard his heart rate increased but not as much as with the male nurse. "I know what you're thinking Otis it doesn't make you any less of a man me doing things for you"  
"I should be able to trim my own fucking beard!" Otis fumed.  
"Yes but you can't right now so I'm doing it because I love you and want to look after you, you'll be better before you know it" Otis wanted to believe her, he really wanted to believe that he would be better because he knew if the operation went wrong he couldn't continue living like this.


	8. Chapter 8

A loud stomach grumble echoed around the hospital room.  
"I'm hungry mama" Otis grumbled.  
"I know you are baby but you're on nil by mouth till tomorrow Otis" Lily sympathetically explained.  
"Hmm you're joking mama seriously" Otis huffed.  
"Sorry babe no food till after your op" Lily said kissing Otis's cheek.  
"Urgh I'm sick of this most of the time you're moaning at me TO eat and now you're telling me I CAN'T" Otis fumed.  
"I'm sorry Otis it's for your own good" Lily explained "After your op I'll get you whatever you want to eat" She said smiling taking his hand in hers, even though he couldn't feel it she hoped it would bring him some comfort.  
"Still hungry mama" He whined "Ya know if you smuggled a sandwich in here I'll make it worth your while" Otis said seductively.  
"You'd have to give me something pretty damn special for me to bring you a sandwich which would risk your life" Lily laughed she didn't know why it made her laugh but it did, even in such a bad state he was still her grumpy moaning Otis.

Otis woke the next morning with his gut tied in knots, his nerves made him feel sick or was that the pain medication? He didn't know anymore sometimes he was too high on pain killers to even think. Was this operation going to be a success or not? He dreaded to think about what would happen if it wasn't. Lily said she would be there for him no matter what but was that the truth?  
"Mama...I...I wanna see Rufus before the op we need a brother to brother talk" Otis said to Lily, Lily nodded and agreed not seeing anything odd with Otis wanting to see his brother before a risky operation. Lily went to the hospital cafeteria with a coffee while Rufus had a heart to heart with Otis.

There was a long awkward silence as Rufus sat down, Otis didn't usually discuss his emotions with anyone and he really didn't know how to start the conversation he wanted to have.  
"I...I can't live like this Rufus" Otis finally said.  
"It won't be for long Otis your operations today" Rufus said trying to comfort his brother.  
"But if the operation don't work I'll be stuck like this" Otis stressed.  
"It'll be alright man" Otis sighed.  
"Rufus I...I want you to do make this end if my op doesn't work" Otis finally had the courage to say.  
"WHAT!" Rufus almost shouted shocked and appalled. "No Otis no, I won't do it!" Rufus fumed, he didn't tend to get involved in the Firefly families actually murders and he wasn't about to start with his brother.  
"Rufus I'm miserable, I can't live my life like this...I trust you" Otis chocked trying to swallow the lump in this throat.  
"But...but you're my big brother" Rufus croaked back he couldn't believe what his brother was asking of him.  
"I know and I wouldn't put this pressure on you unless I was desperate"  
"Fuck Otis" Rufus sighed running a hand through his hair.  
"I can't suffer through life like this Rufus"  
"I..." Rufus chocked.  
"Please Rufus; you know I've never begged anyone for anything before" Rufus's tear filled eyes looked at his brother looking sad, miserable and desperate laying there, if this operation failed Rufus knew Otis would never have they life he loved again, everything Otis loved to do he would never be capable of doing again.  
"Alright Otis...I'll do it" Rufus sighed rubbing his face with his hands.  
"Thank you RJ you really are the best brother anyone could ever wish for" Otis said smiling, he knew he had put Rufus in a difficult position but his mind was at rest that he wouldn't have to live like he was for long if the operation failed.

Lily held Otis's hand tightly as they prepped Otis for the operating theatre.  
"You get back to me safely ok" Lily said sternly "I don't care what state you come back to me in just come back alive, no matter what I'll be by your side" Lily said firmly trying to drive it into his brain enough where he would believe her.  
"Alright mama" Otis replied but he didn't sound convincing as the nurse injected the anesthetic. "Mmm love you mama" He mumbled.  
"Love you too Otis" She whispered, as they went to wheel him off Otis grabbed Rufus's wrist "You know what to do RJ don't you if this goes bad?" Otis said, Rufus slowly nodded so Otis let go and they wheeled Otis off to the theatre.

Once Otis was out of site Lily turned to Rufus like a snarling fire breathing tiger.  
"What the fuck was that about Rufus?!" Lily snarled "You know what to do when this goes bad WHAT!" Lily demanded to know.  
"I... Lily I" Rufus stuttered unsure on if to tell her what Otis had asked of him.  
"LILY...I ...WHAT" She shouted knowing there was something being kept secret from her and she thought she could kind of guess what it was.  
"Lily calm it" Baby soothed putting a hand on Lily's shoulder, Lily took a deep breath and Rufus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  
"Otis...he... he asked me to...to put an end to his suffering if the operation didn't work" Rufus explained.  
"WHAT!" Lily exploded.  
"Rufus... what how...how could you agree to that?" Baby and Mother Firefly cried in unison.  
"He's my big brother if he's suffering I don't want him to suffer no more and neither does he so I agreed to what he asked" Rufus explained.  
"I...I can't believe that, YOU!" She shouted pointing at Rufus "DONOT get to make the decision to take Otis from us, ANY OF US" Lily fumed "And to top it off it was your stupid ass that made him go up that stupid ladder in the first place, everyone is hurting because of YOU, I don't want you in my sight ever Rufus...never again!" Lily ranted before quickly making an exit.

Lily sat in the hospital cafeteria nursing a coffee, fuming over Rufus she couldn't believe what he had agreed to do, he had made the decision alone that he was going to take her Otis, no not just her Otis everyone's Otis off of them with no discussion.  
"Hay girl you been banished here too?" A familiar voice sounded behind her, a strong bear like hand clasping her shoulder.  
"Cutter" She said, she never thought she would be so excited to see him "You don't know how glad I am to see you" She never thought she would ever say those words.  
"So heard you had a bit of a spat with RJ" He said sitting in the chair in front of her.  
"Yeah" Lily sighed.  
"Don't be too hard on him Otis is stubborn as a mule you know that" Cutter said taking her hands in his.  
"He agreed to kill him" Lily fumed.  
"He's unhappy as he is Lily" Cutter said trying to help.  
"What do you know?" Lily spat "What're you doing here anyway?" She asked.  
"Me and happy boys never got on you know that, still doesn't mean I don't care about him" Cutter grunted, Lily sighed she knew he was right.  
"I'm worried about him I don't want to lose him" She sobbed.  
"I know despite what you think I feel the same" Cutter agreed comfortingly rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.  
"Why do you and Otis hate each other so much?" Lily asked.  
"He'll tell you when he's ready to know" Cutter said shrugging his shoulders, he didn't want Lily to know the reason but he secretly hoped Otis would never tell her.


	9. Chapter 9

Rufus went to go and talk to Lily once he had given her time to calm down, he had never seen her so mad at anyone before. Lily was sat with her eyes closed in one of the empty waiting rooms, Rufus slowly knocked on the door.  
"Lily" He said, she slowly opened her eyes looked at him and scowled.  
"What Rufus?" She snapped, Rufus sighed and walked in closing the door behind him, he stood there shifting his feet with his hands in his pockets.  
"I...I want us to talk" He mumbled, Lily sighed and nodded to the chair next to her he moved over to her and sat. He put his face in his hands and began to explain.  
"Otis is my brother, I love him if he lives like that forever he will be miserable and will suffer, that I know for certain, he doesn't want to suffer and I don't want him to suffer either" Rufus said sadly.  
"I don't want to lose him" Lily chocked, Rufus looked at her sternly.  
"And you think I do? This isn't about us this is about Otis and his happiness, he shouldn't have to live a miserable life to keep us happy and if we love him we wouldn't want that either" Lily sighed everything Rufus said seemed to make so much sense. Lily suddenly broke down Rufus wrapped his arms around her and she pressed her face into his chest.  
"I'm so worried Rufus I don't want to lose my Otis" She sobbed.  
"Shhh I know Lily me too, me too" Rufus soothed rubbing her back comfortingly.  
"I'm sorry Rufus I know you just want what's best for your brother" Lily croaked, they stayed with each other keeping each other company till they found out that Otis was in the recovery ward.

Lily went into the room first to see her Otis she couldn't wait to see him and everyone was happy for her to go first. Otis lay in his hospital bed covered in wires, he looked pale but he looked like he was still under the anaesthetic.  
"Baby...Otis can you hear me?" She asked holding his wire covered hand. Otis gave a painful groan in reply.  
"Awww are you hurting baby?" Lily asked, Otis groaned again he was in so much pain, his head slowly moved from side to side his eyes drifting open and closed. "Shhh its ok baby" Lily soothed.  
"Hnnnnnnn" Otis moaned.  
"Shhh Otis it's ok your girls here"  
"Mama...hurts" Otis groaned painfully.  
"Awww I know baby bet it does" She soothed kissing him on his cheek.  
"Always felt sorry for moths...forever wondering around in the dark to find the light they want and only rarely finding it" Otis mumbled she knew he was completely spaced out of his head on anaesthetic Lily giggled but it also broke her heart, reminding her of when he was the moth forever wondering aimlessly for the love he wanted but never finding it until now. "Wanna snuggle my girl she always treats me right" He mumbles, his pupils almost disappearing in his forehead.  
"It's alright baby I'm here" She said sitting next to him and holding him close.

It wasn't long before Baby, Rufus and Eve entered the hospital room.  
"Hnnn mama I...I want dad" He groaned.  
"Otis your...your dads dead remember sweetie" Mother Firefly soothed.  
"Hnnnnn no" Otis moaned shaking his head "Cutter" Both Lily, Eve and Baby exchanged shocked glances.  
"Why do you want Cutter baby?" Lily asked.  
"Nnnn... need...need him" Otis mumbled as he feel sleepily back into unconsciousness. Lily, Baby and Eve exchanged unsure confused glances.  
"What should we do?" Baby asked, knowing that Otis and Cutter always had tension in their relationship but unsure of why.  
"Get him what he asks for he's been through a lot it can only help" Lily said Baby and Eve nodded and then left to find Cutter while Lily stayed by Otis's side holding his hand and gently rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.

Cutter was completely confused when the rest of the family came to fetch him and they explained that Otis had asked for him, especially since he knew the real reason that he and Otis didn't get on. Cutter entered the room really hesitantly; he was really unsure why Otis had asked for him.  
"Hay kid how you doin'?" Cutter asked closing the door behind him.  
"Hnnn dad" Otis groaned, Cutter looked wide eyed at Lily who shrugged her shoulders.  
"Don't look at me I have no clue, something to do with the pain meds I guess" She said.  
"Yeahh, I guess that's me" Cutter said hesitantly completely clueless of this situation.  
"Hnnnnn it hurts" Otis whimpered trying to get his eyes to focus.  
"I'm sure it does" Cutter said sitting down next to him.  
"You...You helped me before when I was hurtin'" Otis mumbled.  
"Yeah, yeah I did kid that's cus your family" Cutter replied.  
"I'm just going to go out for some air leave you guys to it" Lily said about to leave.  
"Hnnn no mama don't leave me alone with him, bad things happen when I'm alone with him" Otis said "But I...I wanna forgive him want him to be my dad again...wanna trust him again" he said sleepily  
"Alright babe, alright I won't leave" She said sitting back down, she frowned at Cutter wondering what Otis meant by that comment.  
"Don't, don't want him to hurt me again" Otis whispered.  
"I ain't gonna hurt you kid I promise" Cutter said deadly serious sounding like he hundred percent meant it.  
"Want you here and be my dad again, don't want you being like my real one"  
"Alright kid if you want me here I'll be here ok as the dad you want ok I'd never hurt you" Cutter said, Otis sleepily nodded before closing his eyes and dozing off. Lily knew that when Otis was feeling better she was going to have to try and talk to Otis about what had gone on between him and Cutter.

 _Otis sat on the sofa a can of beer in one hand and a half eaten pizza in its box on the sofa beside him as they watched the football, his eyes struggled to focus on the television from all the alcohol he had consumed. Cutter was also heavily alcohol induced it had been a while since he had had fallen out with Eve and a while since he had had his needs met by a woman. He looked at Otis from the corner of his eye who was struggling to keep conscious from the alcohol. He looked at his long hair and contemplated whether he could just pretend that Otis was a woman if he kept Otis's face pressed against the floor. Eventually after some thought he decides to risk it, he seriously doubted if Otis would remember anything with how paralytic he was._

 _Cutter suddenly grabbed Otis off the sofa and pins him face first into the ground before he had chance to react, Otis gave a yelp of surprise at being suddenly manhandled and struggled to get free.  
"Easy kid easy" Cutter slurs as he sits his weight on the base of Otis's spine, Otis gave a terrified whimper in protest the overweight clown to heavy and powerful of a match for the underweight scrawny young Otis."Ain't gonna do anything to ya that ya ain't gonna enjoy" He slurs pulling down Otis's trousers and underwear.  
"Hnnnn no, please no" Otis slurs flailing his legs around to try and get free.  
"You don't quit ya fidgeting I'll have to tie ya" Cutter growled, Otis stopped dead no he didn't want to be tied, he didn't want to be helpless and tied up like some hog for the spit, his dad had done that to him and it had been the most frightening experience of his life, somehow the abuse was always so much more frightening when he couldn't move if he wanted to. _

_Otis gave a cry of pain when Cutter entered him, he had forgotten what the pain had been like that he had experienced so frequently in his childhood.  
"Oh yeah so damn good" Cutter gasped grabbing hold of Otis's long hair and pushing his face hard to the floor.  
"Hnnnn please stop, please god stop it hurts" The pain sobering up Otis just a little, but Cutter was enjoying the moment too much to care. He thrust hard and fast causing Otis to yell out in pain.  
"Quit ya whining" Cutter gasped out of breath, Otis clawed at the ground with pain.  
"Please please stop" Otis begged tears filling his eyes from so much pain. _

_Then came that feeling, that pressure feeling that when it built up Otis knew what was coming.  
"Hnnnn no I'm gonna cum, fuck Cutter stop" Otis whimpered he didn't want to cum he didn't want any of this.  
"Yeah that's it kid cum knew you were fuckin' enjoying it" Cutter laughed speeding up the pace.  
"I..I'm not" He protested but that was followed by Otis scrunching his eyes tight and he when he opened his mouth a loud whimpering groaning moaning noise that was crossed between a powerful orgasm and pure pain emerged. Otis knew there was no way Cutter hadn't noticed he'd come and he felt so humiliated for it, Otis's orgasm then brought on Cutters.  
"Yeah... yeah that's it fuck that's good yyeaahh who's your daddy bitch" Cutter groaned emptying himself into Otis. Otis lay on the floor and sobbed with embarrassment as Cutter stood up and pulled up his own pants._

 _Cutter sat on the sofa and watched Otis sob and cry on the floor with his naked ass still pointing up to the ceiling for a while.  
"Go on kid, bathrooms out back go pull yourself together, clean yourself up and get off home" Cutter said casually. Otis groaned as he slowly pulled his trousers up, he hurt so much and staggered to the bathroom. He cried as he cleaned himself up he felt so ashamed, so humiliated. Cutter was nowhere to be seen when he came out of the bathroom he must have gone to bed to Otis had to take the long painful walk home. _


	10. Chapter 10

Otis jolted awake from his nightmare and cried out in pain at the sudden movement. His blurry eyes tried to focus on the large figure sat on a chair next to him. Once Otis's eyes focused his eyes went wide he yelped in suprise and swore loudily at the jump that caused a shooting pain down his spine.

"Shit, Fuck what are you doing here?" Otis growled at Cutter he refused to show how scared he was but his heart monitor gave him away.

"You asked me to be here kid while you were drugged up to your eyeballs" Cutter explained.

"Like fuck I did! Lily where's Lily?" He asked.

"Relax kid she's just gone to get a coffee" Cutter said trying to make him relax.

"What the fuck you doing here Cutter? I know you, what you been doing to me while I was asleep?"

"Like I said kid you asked me to be here so here I am watching over you making sure you're ok" Cutter said sincerely.

"I'm never fucking ok when your around clown, never fucking safe when you're around" Otis hissed,  
"I told you I'd never fucking hurt you so wind your balls in and stop this argument" Their argument was suddenly disrupted by Lily walking in carrying a coffee.

"Otis you're awake!" She squeeled running to his side and hugging him tightly.

"AH AH careful easy mama" Otis yelled, Lily quickly let go.

"Sorry baby sorry I'm just so happy to see you" Lily said happily.

"Happy to see you too Mama, what's HE doing here?" Otis hissed, Lily looked puzzled.

"You asked him to be here" Lily explained.

"Like fuck I did, I wouldn't want this fat clown nowhere near me" Otis spat she could see the hurt on Cutters face he had been so hoping they could patch up their relationship.

"You did Otis you said you wanted him to be a father to you again" Lily said she saw Otis frown.

"That fat bastard hasnt been no fucking father to me or maybe he has that's the problem" Otis spat hinting at the similarities between Cutter and the abuse he suffered from his biological father.

"Otis I don't know what's gone on between you two but Cutter has been kind and helpful he was really hoping you two could patch things up" Otis huffed in response.

"Look Otis I promised I'd never hurt you again didn't I?" Cutter asked, Otis grunted in response "I'd never do that to you again, you asked me to be your father again and I agreed that's why I stuck around" Cutter explained, Otis scowled at Cutter he did sound very serious and honest.

"Just... try give me a chance to earn that back huh kid?" Cutter asked giving a small smile. There was a small silence as Otis thought about it.

"Alright Cutter alright you get your second chance" The bug smike that came from Cutter warmed Lily's heart she's never seen him so happy.

Otis mumbled and grumbled under his breath as the male nurse turned him on his side to clean and re-bandage his wound. Otis whimpered in pain.  
"It's alright baby, I know" Alice soothed knowing he was on edge when people touched him.  
"I won't hurt you I promise" The male nurse said gently trying to comfort him.  
"How longs it going to take before I can walk?" Otis grumbled, the nurse chuckled slightly.  
"It's not going to be instant Mr. Driftwood, it's going to take a lot of work and physiotherapy" The nurse explained "It might be some time before you get any feeling back at all" Otis sighed irritably.  
"I don't want to be stuck like this for long" Otis grumbled.  
"You'll get there Mr. Driftwood the operation was a success it'll just take work" The nurse comforted, Otis prayed that the nurse was right.

Alice sat on the bed and looked at Otis his face deep on concentration  
"Come on Otis you can do it! just wiggle your fingers" Alice encouraged supportively. Otis let out a sigh in frustration at the immobile fingers.  
"I can't do it mama" Otis grumbled irritably.  
"Come on baby just one more try" Alice urged.

"I can't fucking DO it" He growled angrily "Should just fucking stop trying and accept I'll be stuck like this" He said angrily.  
"Don't you fucking DARE Otis you're more of a fighter than that and you know it" Alice snapped she refused to give up on him and she refused to let him give up either. Otis mumbled under his breath at her for her stubbornness but he knew she was right.  
"Come on kid just one more try and then we'll give it a break" Cutter encouraged, Otis looked at Cutter wide-eyed at Cutters sudden supportiveness. Otis took a deep breath in and exhaled as he focused hard on moving those stubborn digits, slowly his forefinger started to twitch everyone's eyes went wide with shock and the more he tried the more they moved.  
"Ahhhh oh my god Otis your fingers they're moving" Alice squealed with excitement squishing him into a hug.  
"AH AH careful mama lets save the celebrations till I can walk" Otis said.  
"Otis don't you dare, don't you dare shrug off your achievements I'm so proud of you"  
"Thanks mama" He said giving that dimpled chipped tooth smile.  
"I love it when you smile baby" Alice said smiling back she was so happy to see her man smiling again.  
"Knew you could do it kid" Cutter said grinning, Otis's heart exploded with happiness had Cutter just said he believed in him? He had never heard that from anyone else except Alice. It was something he had wanted to hear all his life and he finally had...from Cutter maybe there relationship could be patched up after all.

Otis was happy with the movement of his fingers but it was a too slower process for his liking he would be happier when he could finally feel his legs and walk. Otis dozed in and out of sleep, visitors came and went he heard their voices but he was just too exhausted to make much of a conversation. Alice sat in the room with Otis talking to Cutter while Otis rested.  
"Thank you so much for how you've been with Otis I know your relationships been strained" Alice said smiling.  
"It's nice to see happy boy actually happy for once" Cutter said "I really do want to improve my relationship with him" He said smiling, their talking voices awoke Otis from his sleep.  
"I...I really don't know what I'd do without you"  
"I'd do anything for you girl you know that" Cutter said, Otis frowned at what they were saying.  
"I, I just wish he'd get better then we can move on with our lives" Alice sighed, Otis's heart skipped a beat as he read into what she was saying. Was she only there while he needed her? Was she hoping he would get better so she would feel less guilty about leaving him and start a new life with Cutter once he didn't need her anymore?  
"Patients girl it'll come" He comforted drawing her close to him into a tight hug.  
"I hope so" She sobbed into his chest, Otis's heart broke as he saw them hug, he was dead certain now that that's what they were discussing now, he knew Alice was going to leave him for Cutter that explained why Cutter was being so nice to him, to win over Alice. He frowned as he watched, they were too busy comforting each other to notice that Otis was awake watching and listening.


	11. Chapter 11

Otis's heart broke he couldn't believe he had heard Lily say once he was better she would leave him for Cutter, that's definatly what their conversation sounded like. He had stopped putting as much effort into his physiotherapy and trying to move his limbs he thought if he didn't fully recover there was a chance that he'd get to keep his girl forever.

"Come on then lets get these toes of yours wiggling" The male nurse said pulling the hospital blanket away exposing Otis's feet. Otis grumbled under his breath disapprovingly of being disturbed.

"Otis don't be a grump he's trying to help" Lily scolded, Otis frowned at her and sighed.

"Right you gonna try wiggle your toes for me Mr. Driftwood?" Said the nurse, he gave a half hearted attempt.

"Can't" He simply said.

"Otis come on try" Lily urged, he made out that he was trying to move his toes but he wasn't really.

"I can't fucking do it" Otis snapped.

"I know its frustrating but you have to keep trying to kick start those nerves" The male nurse said.

"Fuck this shit I can't do it!" He cursed, the nurse sighed and lead Lily out the room. Otis stared down at his toes consentrated hard and gave his toes a wiggle. Of course he could move them!

The nurse looked at Lily and ran a hand across his face he looked concerned.

"I'm concerned about Mr. Driftwood he should have some feeling in his feet by now the operation was a sucess I don't understand" He frowned.

"Does that mean he won't get better?" Lily asked worried.

"He will its just taking longer than we expected he should be able to move his toes"

"I can't think why he says hes trying" Lily frowned puzzled.

"Is there any reason you can think of why Mr. Driftwood would hide his progress from you?" He nurse asked.

"What no why, why would he do that do you think that's what hes doing?" Lily asked outraged.

"Its certainly a possibility" The nurse said grimly, Lily wracked her brain why would he do something like that?

Lily walked in looking serious and stern Otis knew something bad was about to happen.

"The nurse said you should be able to move your toes by now" Lily commented.

"Well I can't fucking help that I can't" Otis growled.

"Don't lie to me Otis why are you being like this?" Lily fumed.

"I cant fucking move them" He snapped.

"Otis I swear to God if you don't start telling me the truth I'll walk" Lily threatened she didn't mind if he genuinely couldn't move but if he was going to fake and lie then she couldn't live with someone who would do that.  
"Well then go! you're going to do it sooner or later" Otis sighed, Lily frowned.  
"Otis what are you talking about I'd never leave you, you know that" Lily said shocked.  
"Don't play dumb mama I heard you talking to Cutter, I know you're going to leave" Otis snapped.  
"I don't know what you're talking about Otis I would never leave unless you want me to"  
"I heard you saying how you care about him and how much you hope I'll get better so you can start your lives" Otis said annoyed.  
"Not mine and Cutters lives, mine and YOURS Otis, I do care for Cutter but not in that way me and you are together for the long haul" Lily said smiling.  
"You're...You're not leaving" He frowned.  
"Of course not you silly man" She said kissing his bearded cheek. "Did you... did you pretend not to get better so I wouldn't leave?" Lily asked, Otis's cheeks flushed red as he nodded his head.  
"I didn't want to loose you mama" He mumbled very embarrassed with himself.  
"Oh you silly man I'd never leave you we're together forever" She said smiling peppering his bearded cheek with kisses.  
"Hnnn mama stop" He said grinning.  
"You love it" She said grinning back, he couldn't help but smile more because yes, yes he did love it every piece of affection he got from her was as valuable as gold dust to him.  
"Yes, yes I do mama" He grinned.  
"I'm afraid you're not gonna love me tomorrow though" She joked, Otis sighed knowing it was going to be something bad.  
"Why mama?" He said afraid to ask.  
"Tomorrow we're gonna try get you walking" The deadpan expression that Otis gave her made her burst into laughter.

Later that day Lily lay next to Otis with her arms wrapped around him she sighed happily and snuggled closer.  
"Never thought I'd feel any happier to feel you hold me than I did already" Otis said grinning.  
"Awww my sweet silly man" She said kissing his tanned bearded face. "I love you Otis, I'm not interested in Cutter no matter what I'm with you till the end" Lily said sternly and seriously.  
"Love you too mama" Slowly wrapping her fingers round her hand, Lily's heard burst it was the first time in a very long time that she had felt him hold her hand. Lily burst into tears because of how much she had missed it and because of relief that he could despite the odds that had been against him.  
"Hay mama hay what's wrong?" Otis said worried seeing the tears pour down her face.  
"I...I've missed that so much, you... you held my hand" She sobbed.  
"Yeah mama yeah I did" He said grinning.  
"I've missed It so much and...and you fought and know you can do it...you've achieved so much" Lily cried. "You're...you're my fighter Mr. Otis Driftwood" She sobbed. Otis concentrated on his arm willing it to move, he needed to do some kind of comforting gesture to stop her crying, he willed with his whole soul for it to move and slowly ever so slowly his arm moved up. Lily jumped with shock as his warm palm connected with her cheek and his thumb slowly wiped away the tears.  
"It's ok mama" Otis said seriously looking into her eyes, that small little gesture had exhausted him but it had stopped her crying and that made it all worth while.

Lily took a deep breath as she opened the hospital door with her arms full of sweet treats, today she had decided she was going to ask Otis about what Cutter had done to make him hate him so much.  
"Hay mama!" He called happily grinning that chipped tooth, dimpled smile that bunched up his cheeks under his eyes.  
"Hay baby" She greeted bending down to kiss him "Your sat up" She commented "You do that or someone help you?" Lily asked.  
"I did" Otis said grinning widely like a small child showing a parent a very good drawing.  
"Awwww my clever man" She squealed proudly. "I brought goodies" She smiled "Told you I'd bring all the stuff you love when you can eat" Otis grinned back all his favourite sugary favourites were there.  
"Baby I want to talk to you about something" Lily said softly, Otis frowned at her.  
"Great I knew there would be a catch" He huffed.  
"Aww don't be like that" She giggled "You still get the treats" This was followed by another huff. "I want you to be honest with me and tell me the truth about what happened with Cutter" Lily said gently, Otis glared at her it was a face of death.  
"We just don't" He grunted.  
"Baby you said Cutter had been too much like your father that was the problem, what did he do to you?" Lily pushed.  
"I didn't say nothin' he didn't do shit just don't like him that's all" Otis growled.  
"Yes you did babe, just tell me Otis you can tell me anything" Lily urged kindly "Did he...did he.." She said.  
"DON'T say it" Otis interrupted he couldn't hear it, didn't want to hear her say that word.  
"Did Cutter do the same as your father?" She croaked taking his hand into hers, shame filled his face and the silence as he looked at the bedsheets confirmed exactly what she had thought.


	12. Chapter 12

_As Lily trotted on her small white horse through the Texan countryside she couldn't help but gaze in wonder at her man astride a tall muscular pitch black stallion. He looked magnificent as he smiled happily trotting across the dusty ground, his skin a healthy glowing, shiny tan under the hot sun. She loved seeing him smile it was such a beautiful sight and she was so glad to see it after everything he had been though. She loved that she could bring a smile to his face and makes him happy he deserved it after everything bad that had ever happened to him in his life, she was one of the privileged few that got to see that gorgeous smile._

 _Otis sat astride the horse bouncing with the movement of the dignified animal, his long blonde/brown hair blew freely in the wind and bobbed about on his shoulders with the movement of the horse. Lily wasn't sure if she'd ever seen a more magnificent sight. Otis's red tartan shirt was half way open gaping open around his chest showing off his black skull bat tattoo and the chest she loved oh so much. Lily bit her lip in awe as she stared at him she was practically drooling at the sight._

 _It wasn't long before they arrived at a beautiful crystal clear lake surrounded by trees; Otis dismounted his huge magnificent horse with graceful ease then went and lifted Lily off her horse as if she was nothing. Giving her one of his cheeky, dimpled chipped tooth smiles he slowly lifted his shirt over his head. His long curly hair cascaded down over his chest. Lily took off Otis's black hat and threw it on the ground.  
"God I hate that ugly thing" She giggled claiming his lips.  
"Hay mama don't speak hate of the hat it can hear you, you know" Otis joked walking into the lake in his boots and ripped denim jeans not caring if his clothes got wet. _

_Lily gawped open mouthed like a goldfish in amazement as he dunked his head under the lakes surface and launched himself back up pushing his sodden wet hair back out of his face, water dripped down his flat torso.  
"Come on in mama" He beckoned Lily licked her lips, grinned and launched herself in the water fully clothed in Otis's direction. _

Lily woke with a start from her glorious dream and looked across to see a sleeping Otis; he looked so peaceful lying there in his hospital bed like he hadn't a care in the world. She couldn't believe what Otis had hinted that Cutter had abused him the same way as his father had done when he was vulnerable. She knew she would have to confront Cutter about it sooner or later.

Otis grumbled under his breath as she helped him get ready for his first physiotherapy session to start walking.  
"Grumble all you like Otis but you have to start sooner or later" Lily said lacing up his shoes. "The whole families going to be there maybe even Cutter to give you support and cheer you on"  
"Urrghhh him too?" He groaned.  
"Yes him too" She said "He wants to make amends Otis"  
"Lily he...!" He suddenly stopped unable to say the words.  
"Yes I know and believe me I will be talking to him about it but he regrets it and has apologised"  
"Still don't make shit better" He growled.  
"No it doesn't but it's a starting point" she said standing up and kissing him on the cheek "Come on then let's make some Fireflies proud" Lily said encouragingly grabbing the wheel chair to take him to the physiotherapy room.

Otis clutched the walking bars so hard his knuckles turned white; the pressure he was putting on his wrists caused them to shake. A red hot excruciating pain shot straight up his spine as he took a step causing him to cry out on pain. He lowered his head and gave an agonising whimper before clutching the rails harder in preparation for the next shot of pain as he took the next step.  
"Hnnnnnn Ahhhh god dammit mama I can't do this" He yelled in both pain and frustration.  
"Oh baby you're doing so, so well you've done it you've took steps" Lily said sounding so proud running up to him and planting a kiss on his lips, a light sweat covered his face from both pain and effort.  
"Please mama, please don't make me do no more it hurts so bad" Otis begged.  
"Come on Baby just a few more steps then you've walked one whole lap" Lily encouraged.  
"I...I can't mama I can't it, it hurts so much" Otis groaned.  
"Baby, remember that's exactly what I said to you when you said you wanted to teach me to ride a horse?" She asked, Otis nodded Lily was terrified of horses and wouldn't dare step foot near one let alone ride one. "Well if you be very, very brave and walk to the end of these rails I'll be very brave and let you teach me how to ride when you're better how about that?" She asked smiling at him; Otis thought for a moment and then nodded. If she could be brave and concur her fear then he could cope with a bit of pain in return.

Lily stood at the end of the rails and cheered him on, so did the rest of the family, Baby, Eve and Rufus was there.  
"Come on Baby get to this rail and you can have all the snuggles you want" Otis's brow creased with concentration and determination. He grit his teeth as he put one foot in front of the other, sweat running down his temple from the pain. His legs gave way from the pain as he reached the end and Lily managed to catch him and support him from hitting the floor.  
"Otis Otis you did it my brave clever man you did it!" She cheered proudly peppering his face with kisses.  
"I...I did?" He asked shocked.  
"Yes you did...Look; look how far you walked" Turning him round to see the rails "You walked that all by yourself"  
"I...I walked" He said grinning.  
"YES yes you did Otis you WALKED!" She cheered scooping him up in her arms "I'm so, so proud of you, you did it" Otis gave a huge dimple cheeked chipped tooth smile. Someone was proud of him. His girl was proud of him!

Lily wasn't sure whether she was horrified or felt sorry for Cutter when Cutter explained to her what had happened with him and Otis. It was a terrible thing that Cutter had done to Otis but Cutter was also suffering from the breakup with Eve and dosed up on a lot of alcohol and a lot of drugs, she knew if he hadn't been in that stare the event would never have happened. She had managed to convince him to go to Otis's next physiotherapy appointment she just hoped he would show up and that Otis would be pleased to see him.


	13. Chapter 13

Otis lay in bed with Lily fast asleep beside him. He gently stroked her back as she lay tucked up to his chest. He told himself that it was to improve his fine motor skills, but in actual fact he was dreading another session of physio and him feeling her close to him was the only thing that was calming his axiety.

He knew he had more pain ahead of him, he knew now how much pain it was to practice his walking and he was dreading having to go through it again. Otis thought his heart would burst the first time he walked, Lily had been so proud of him and had told him as such, showering his face with kisses. He had waited so long for someone to say they were proud of him, ever since he was a little boy.

Otis was also scared about Cutter, Lily had told Otis that she had talked to Cutter about the abuse Cutter had put Otis through all those years ago, and now he was worried that Cutter would be out to get him now someone other than the two of them knew about the incident. No matter how many times Cutter had apologised and said he felt terrible for hurting him he was still cautious that Cutter would hurt him again.

Otis grumbled under his breath as Lily got him ready for his physio. He didn't want to do this, didn't want to go through the pain again even though it was for his own good.

He gritted his teeth and clutched the bars tightly as he took his first step. Lily was stood their proudly, encurraging him. He looked around and saw Cutter wasn't there, he couldn't help but feel disapointed. Him and Cutter used to be so close, he had looked up to him once as a father figure, they had bonded and spent time together before everything had happened, and he had secretly hoped that Cutter would be there proudly cheering him on again, like the father figure he used to be.

Otis whimpered as he took another step, after all the abuse he had suffered as a child he was used to pain but this pain was something entially different. It started at the base of his spine and shot up his back like a bolt of electric, a deep burning, shooting pain.

"Come on Baby you can do it" Lily cheered, Otis smiled. God he loved that girl, always there for him and always supporting him no matter what. If anything he would do this for her, if not for himself.

A while later Otis was exhausted, sweat dripped down his face from effort and pain. His hands shook with the amount of weight he was putting on them and he felt faint but still the nurses demanded he push himself and do another lap.

"I...I can't mama" Otis groaned, he was in so much pain all he wanted to do was collapse and sleep.

"Yes you can baby, just one more length" She encurraged.

"No more mama" He begged, suddenly the physio door slowly opened.

In unison both Lily and Otis looked in the direction of the door.

"Cutter, you...you came" Lily said, so relieved and happy to see he had turned up.

"I'm sorry I'm late" He said, as he walked up to them.

"That's alright, Otis is just about to do his last lap" Lily explained proudly.

"Like fuck I am...I told you no more, I give up" He growled, lowering his head in exhaustion.

"Like fuck you are" Cutter snapped as he walked to the opposite end of the walking support bars.

"Fuck you Cutter it hurts" Otis growled "You can't just show up here and order me around"

"Like hell I can't, you're gonna walk to the end of these bars kid, even if it's just to hit me you're gonna walk here" Cutter demanded. Lily stood open mouthed, she'd never seen anything like this before from Cutter.

"Come on Whitey you can do it" Cutter said, Otis scowled he hated that nickname.

"Come on you pissypussy peice of shit" Otis clenched his hands tighter around the bars in anger and took his first step.

Otis cried out in pain, he looked up at Cutter and scowled at him with determination. God he hated that fat clown. Cutter laughed at Otis.

"Haha weak ass shit can't even walk ten steps" He taunted. As Otis got madder he been to take steps quicker.

At the last step he whimpered in pain and his legs gave way, Cutter quickly grabbed him and pulled him upright, steading him before he fell onto the floor.

"You alright kid?" He asked sounding worried, slowly Otis nodded. He looked up at Cutter, his face a picture of anger. He pulled himself out of Cutters grip and punched him square in the jaw.

Cutter shook his head and rubbed his throbbing jaw.  
"Ok I deserved that" He laughed "But getting you mad got you moving" Otis looked at Cutter confused. "I knew if you got mad I'd get you here" He chuckled.  
"Y...You….I" He stuttered, gobsmacked.  
"I'm super proud of you Otis" Cutter beamed "You didn't think you could do that but you walked all that way, I'm very proud"  
"Y..You are?" Otis stuttered and Cutter nodded.  
"I don't tell you enough Otis but I've always been proud of how far you've come" Cutter smiled, tears filled Otis's eyes. "You were such a sick, weak little thing when I found you but now you've grown so strong and determined and have defied all the odds that have been stacked against you" Otis blinked and a tear flowed down Otis's face.  
"I'm so sorry for hurting you Otis, I really am, I regret it so much" Cutter said sincerely "I want to be that father figure I used to be...If you'll let me?" Otis's bottom lip wobbled as another tear fell down his cheek.

Otis looked at Lily begging her for her opinion of the situation, Lily smiled and nodded urging him to make amends and accept Cutters apology. He looked back at Cutter and slowly nodded, Cutter gave a huge smile and wrapped his strong arms around Otis's weak frame. He whimpered in protest at the pain but wrapped his arms round Cutter, enjoying the hug. Lily stood there teary eyed watching them mend their relationship knowing that now they'd both be fine. Everything would be good from now on.


	14. Chapter 14

Gradually Otis's walking started improving; the pain subsided every time he walked. The shooting pain got less and less and he could walk further distances without getting exhausted. Cutter never missed a physiotherapy session; he was as good as his word and was always stood on the side lines grinning proud as punch.  
"I'm…I'm sorry for being so weak mama" Otis panted out of breath failing to reach the forty steps mark but completely ignoring what he had accomplished in the previous days. Otis was a man who could only focus on the failures and not the achievements.  
"Otis you've nothing to be sorry for, you're trying your hardest, you've accomplished so much" Lily beamed.  
"But I missed the target" Otis said sadly.  
"Otis you're not weak, you've survived so much" Cutter said seriously, hating to see Otis so down hearted.

Otis groaned in protest as someone shook him awake and opened his eyes, frowning when he saw Cutter beside him.  
"Cutter? What are you doing here?" He whispered.  
"Come on kid we're going for a ride"  
"What, where to?" Otis asked, wincing as he sat up right.  
"You'll see" Cutter said pulling the duvet off him, Otis was thankful for the hospital pyjamas he had been issued.

Cutter rummaged around in a bag and pulled out Cutters warmest, thickest coat and held it out as Otis threaded his arms in. The material drowned Otis, half of the sleeves going past Otis's hands and flopping down at the end.  
"Cutter this is silly I look like one of those flailing inflatable arm men" Otis chuckled flailing his arms around in the coat with sleeves way too long. Cutter couldn't help but laugh.  
"It's alright, as long as it keeps you warm kid" Cutter groaned in protest as his knees creaked as he knelt down on the floor to help Otis tie his shoes, although he could walk and move, his fingers still weren't that nimble to do fiddly things like laces.  
"I got you a stick in case you need it" Cutter offered.  
"Fuck that, what do you think I am seventy? I'd sooner struggle without one"  
"Fine, on your head be it, swear you're so stubborn" Cutter sighed, shaking his head at Otis's pride.

Otis limped slowly through the hospital and to the car park where Cutters car sat. Cutter was thankful that it was late so they'd managed to avoid what few nurses were on shift. He kept looking back at Otis with concern, constantly asking if he was alright or needed help but they made it to the car. Once in the car, Cutter opened the glove compartment and found a woolly hat pulling it onto Otis's head.  
"Really?" Otis said deadpanned looking at Cutter very unimpressed.  
"Oh shush, its cold in here you've been in a warm hospital for months last thing I want is for you to get flu too" Cutter scolded, God it was like sharing a car with a whiny child. The car hadn't been moving long before Otis fell fast asleep, the walk to the car had been the longest distance he had ever walked and it had exhausted him. Cutter gazed at him, looking at how far he had come, despite their differences he had to admit he did look sweet in the big woolly hat and the huge coat that was like a tent on him. He looked so different to the skittish, deathly ill kid he had taken in all those years ago and despite their differences he never regretted taking him in.

Cutter really didn't want to wake Otis up when they reached their destination; he looked too peaceful to disturb him.  
"We're here" Cutter said gently shaking Otis, he moaned and rubbed his eyes then sat up and looked out of his side window.  
"No! No fuck this no, what the fuck Cutter why have you brought me here?" Otis panicked looking at Cutter with big round, fear filled eyes.  
"Otis….I" Cutter began.  
"No take me back Cutter, I wanna go" Otis said terrified starring up at the house they were parked next to.  
"I wanted to show you Otis, I wanted to show you that you're not as weak as you think you are" Cutter said softly trying to explain. "Let's have a look inside" Cutter said opening the car door.  
"What! Like fuck we are, I ain't going In there"  
"It's ok Otis they're gone, you killed them remember, it's just a house"  
"Please don't make me go in there" Otis begged.  
"It's ok Otis I'll be right with you ok? You can trust me" Cutter smiled, Otis sighed and gave a small nod he hated looking scared in front of Cutter so he was determined to prove to Cutter he could do this.

Otis violently slammed the car door, scowling at Cutter as he walked up to him.  
"I fucking hate you for this you know that?" He growled.  
"More than you do already?" Cutter joked "Can you manage the stairs?" He asked worried.  
"Oh no there's stairs? Oh God no what are we going to do, guess I can't go in" Otis said sarcastically.  
"Get your ass up them stairs" Cutter ordered pointing to the front door at the top of the steps. Otis gulped and gritted his teeth with the pain as he slowly climbed the stairs; he remembered frantically running down them when he was younger, almost falling down them and landing on his face desperately trying to get away even though his parents wouldn't be coming after him.

Cutter broke down the front door and stepped inside, it hadn't been liven in since Otis escaped all those years ago. Either people must have thought people still lived there or they sensed the evil of this place so it never got sold.  
"I…I don't think I can do this" Otis said sounding scared and wringing his hands nervously.  
"Yes you can, it's alright no one's here they've all gone" Taking a deep breath he stepped into the house, as he slowly walked around his hear threatened to beat through his chest. He was surprised to see the house exactly as he had remembered it, surely they would have redecorated and resold the house.  
"Let's take a look upstairs" Cutter said, Otis quickly shook his head.  
"No not upstairs, their bedrooms up there"  
"Otis they're dead you know that!" Cutter snapped, walking towards the stairs. Otis quickly followed not wanting to be left alone in this house.

Cutter got to a wooden door and opened it, Otis frowned as straight away Cutter began choking and retching, the buzz of flies filled their ears. Cutter pulled his jumper over his nose in an attempt to block the smell and stepped inside. He looked at Cutter with wide eyes as he saw two charred bodies still lying on the remains of the bed.  
"Jesus Otis, what did you do to them?" Cutter spoke from beneath his jumper.  
"I sent them to hell" Otis growled "No one, no one ever found them? No one noticed they were dead?" Otis said surprised, he would have thought with all the 'friends' his father had someone would have noticed.  
"Obviously not kid, obviously not, come on let's get out of here" Cutter said guiding him out the door.

Cutter walked to another door and grabbed the handle.  
"And what's in this one?" Cutter asked turning the handle.  
"No Cutter no! please God no don't go in there" He pleaded.  
"It's ok Otis, it's just a house" Cutter said, ignoring Otis's cries and opening the door anyway.

Cutter walked into a tiny, cold, damp bedroom all it had in it was a small single bed. Tears welled up in his eyes as he saw the stained, blood spotted mattress that had handcuffs attached to each corner of the bed. He wiped his eyes quickly, before Otis joined his side.  
"God Dammit Cutter I didn't want you to see this" Otis said angrily, but he couldn't disguise that his voice was cracking.  
"There's nothing to be ashamed of Otis, I brought you here for a reason, I wanted to show you how strong you are, dammit I couldn't survive this" Cutter said pointing to the bed. "I don't ever want you to think you're weak because you're not, you can achieve anything… you don't have to be scared now you've seen that they're dead, your parents aren't coming back"  
"Cutter….I"  
"No you look! Look in there and see! You're the strongest person I know Otis not only because of this but how far you've come since your accident" Otis shuffled his feet and his cheeks turned red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry I hurt you before, I shouldn't have done that, I want us to be as close as we used to be because I couldn't be proud enough to have a son like you, reckon we could do that?" Otis thought for a minute and gave his dimpled smile at Cutter and slowly nodded. Cutter grinned and put his bear like hand on Otis's shoulder.  
"Come on kid let's get you back, Lily'll have my guts if she notices your missing"


	15. Chapter 15

Seeing Otis walk into the stable Lily quietly followed him. Seeing him walk on its own was amazing let alone anything else, seeing him in the hospital she never thought he would survive never mind be walking around his home. She peeked round the stable and watched him intensly.

Otis greated his tall grey horse with a huge grin on his face.

"Good to see you again old girl" He said pressing his forhead on the horses muzzle and closed his eyes as he stroked the horses cheek. Lily bit her bottom lip, seeing him so affectionate with his horse lit a fire inside her, it took all her willpower not to walk into the stable there and then and forfil the sexual need that was building inside her watching him.  
"You can come in mama" Otis suddenly said, making her jump. She hadn't realised he had noticed her. Slowly she opened the stable door and walked in, feeling quite embarrassed at being caught.  
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice you watching me mama?" He quipped raising an eyebrow, which was true. With Otis doing what he does best he was forever alert and aware of his surroundings. You could never sneak up on him or catch him off guard.  
"So guess you've volunteered for your first horse riding lesson then huh mama?"  
"I...err...what, Otis I you know I hate horses" Lily stuttered.  
"Oh no, no backing out on me now mama, I may have been sick but I remember the deal you made, I always remember a promise" Lily rubbed her face in her hands, fully regretting her decision to secretly spy on him.  
"Otis...I, I can't" Lily said feeling terrified.  
"Wrong answer" Otis growled grabbing her by the waist and lifting her onto the horses back. "If I can learn to walk again you can ride a horse" He wasn't about to let Lily get out of her bargain.  
"Otis, Otis get me down!" Lily snapped. Otis said nothing and lead the horse out of the stables. Otis tried hard not to laugh as he heard Lily's startled noises.

Lily grabbed hold of the reins like her life depended on it as Otis lead outside.  
"Lily trust me, you'll be fine" He said looking up at her seriously. Otis was if nothing honest and if he said she would be fine then she would be fine. "This isn't half as scary as what I've been through" He said. Lily hated when he manipulated her like that, it wasn't that he was being mean he was just trying to make her feel comfortable the best way he knew how. And she knew had a point, if Otis could survive his accident and go through the terrible fear from the abuse from his parents then she could learn to ride a horse.

It wasn't long until she could ride all by herself, she was so proud and so excited. Otis suggested that he get another one of his horses and they take a ride together. She couldn't be happier as she rode next to her man who rode his horse straight backed, tall and proud it was an amazing sight. He took her to a secluded lake surrounded by trees, he lifted her off the horse and kissed her. That was it she couldn't resist him no more she pushed him onto the ground, he grunted as the air was forced out of his lungs.  
"Ahh careful mama"  
"Shush you'll out live us all Otis" She laughed kissing him again, she couldn't believe her man was still here, healthy and alive. She vowed never to let her man get hurt again. Everything was back to how it should be, Otis was still alive and with her, Otis and Cutters relationship had been mended and she prayed to God that now Otis and Rufus had learned from their immature antics.


End file.
